t0 my ever dearez baby b0i..

n0 w0rds can ever describe my lub 4 u..i knw tis s0und cheezy..hahax..n dun even tink tt u'll ever hear it cumin 0utta my m0uth aitez..t0dae's finally the dae i guess..i jus wana take tis 0pp0rtunity 2 ap0l0gise 2 u if i've d0ne u ani wr0n 0r my acti0ns 0r w0rds hab hurt u..th0ugh raya is jus ard the c0rner..hahax..eventh0ugh its been nearly 2mths since we gt t0gether..the times i've spent wid u..even if it was rare..i had the bezt time ever..bein wid u hab made mi realise hw it feels 2 b l0ved..i really appreciate it al0t..wenever i'm wid u..i can nv st0p smilin..0h g0d tis hurts..2 even tink tt i'll b separated frm u..its makin mi hard 2 breathe..i wish tt i cld jus tell u hw much i lub u..bt i mit jus end up sayin sumtin snarky..ytd..as u pr0mized mi..u spent the wh0le dae wid mi..i was damn bl0ody hapie..bt at the same time..i felt miserable inside..i really wished tt e dae wil nv ever end..n jus b wid u much l0nger..hahax..tts dumb rite..i knw..wen the end 0f the dae came..n u waited wid mi 4 my buz 2 arrive..i realised hw much i lub n nid u in my life..wen the stupid buz finally did arrive..i really didnt wana let u g0..it hurts lk fuck man..i was tryin very..very..very hard nt 2 burst int0 tears rite infr0nt 0f u..cuz i knw tt its jus s hard 4 u..arghhh..!! my eyes r pretty blurred n my keyb0ard is kinda wet..my tears wldnt st0p drippin..dun w0rie aitez..i'll b fine..in a wae i guess..muz tc 0f urself aitez..dun sm0ke 0nli k dear..muz alwaez rmb 2 eat..ltr kena gastric..0h my g0d..i'm s0o w0rried abt u la..bt i M hapie..wen u hugged mi n said tt u'll wait 4 mi..if i had died ytd..i dun tink tt i'll hab tt much regrets..i saved tis bl0g msg jus 4 u..h0pin tt u'll read it if i'm nt by ur side by e end 0f t0dae..n knw hw much i lub u..izit t0o much 2 ask 4 if i were 2 sae tt hw i wish n h0pe tt u r here 2 c0mf0rt mi wen i'm bein such a crybaby..? bt tinkin abt it..i wld prefer u nt see-in mi bein s0o weepy n em0ti0nal ba..hahax..i'm kinda fickle-minded rite..? i guess tt i'm 0verwhelmed by my c0nflictin em0ti0ns at tis very m0ment..tell evri1 tt i'm g0na miz them aitez..n pls take beta care 0f urself..b4 i cum aft u pers0nally..hehe..i'm such a weird gerfy aft all..hahax..tt made mi feel abit beta..btw..i'm s0rie 4 bein s0o mushy..its s0o nt mi la..hahax..if its sum1 else's bl0g, i mite even find it disgustin 0r t0uched..depends..n i mite tink tt the bl0gger is psych0 0r sumtin..i'll alwaez lub u sean chia..n0 matter where u 0r i may b..as l0ng as 0ur hearts r c0nnected..

s e dae gets cl0ser..!

as the dae 0f my c0urt hearin gets cl0ser..i gt m0re anxi0us..i started panickin lk mad..desperately tryin 2 find ani p0ssible meth0d jus 2 get the m0ney 2 pay my fine..i even nearly br0ke my baby's truzt by tryin 2 get ah0ld 0f the m0ney..i'm really deeply s0rie babe..i was gettin xtremely desperate..i jus d0wana leave u all al0ne..i knw tt i m wr0n..i'm glad tt i didnt went wid tt plan til the end..i regret my acti0ns very much..n i've learnt my less0n..it pisses mi 0f n left mi feelin vulnerable..the t0t 0f nt bein able 2 see u..msg wid u..t0k 2 u..n even nt bein able 2 mit u..kills mi bit by bit..it gt mi really desperate jus 2 av0id feelin all tt..i may l0ok calm..bt as the dae ticks by..in my heart n mind..all i cld ever tink 0f is "wad wil the c0nclusi0n 0f my hearin b..?" n u..hw cld i ever live wid myself 4 leavin ur side..its drivin mi insane..bt i jus d0wan u 2 see mi brkin apart..n nw..the dae hab finally arrived..n i'm t0tally freaked 0ut..

keep y0u much l0nger..

i'm in lub wid tis s0ng by ak0n recently..mayb its cuz it really reminds mi 0f hw my current relati0nship wid sean i guess..u knw hw he rarely hab time 4 mi n stuffs..bt i'm kinda w0rried tt 1dae it'll b his turn 2 feel wad i've been g0in thru nw..wen he finally hab e time 4 mi, i wil n0 l0nger hab much time 4 him..nt cuz i'm d0in it 0n purp0se..bt m0re 2 e fact tt i'll hab m0re resp0nsibilties in e future..4 nw..i'm nt w0rkin cuz 0f my impendin c0urt case..bt aft tt..i'll surely w0rk hard 4 my parents n 4 myself..its lk hw e song g0es..wen i m really l0nely cuz he's t0o bz, i learnt hw 2 fly..0n my 0wn..jus 2 keep myself 0ccupied durin e times wen he wasnt there..i w0nder hw he'll c0pe wid it..he's nt really a str0n guy..bt he's really undrstndin..n sensitive in a wae..it kinda gt mi w0rried..n wid e fact tt i mit b inside 4 a wk..i'm w0rried tt he wun wait 4 mi..he mite jus find sum1 else u knw..jus tinkin abt l0sin him makes mi wana cry s0o badly..its undeniable tt i lub him..n i dun d0ubt his lub 4 mi..its jus tt..i'm w0rried tt sum1 mite jus cum al0ng n jus snatch him awae frm mi while i'm g0ne..tis is e greatez 0pp0rtunity 4 it..i jus kinda nid him in my life..he's alwaez there 2 gib mi c0urage wen i nid it..wad happens wen he's nt there..i'm scared..i d0wana l0se him..n i dun lk e t0t 0f even l0sin him..it sux n it hurtz..mayb i'm jus bein paran0id..u knw..wenever i get e chance 2 mit him, i jus wish tt time wld st0p 0r b pr0l0nged..i jus wana keep him 2 myself much l0nger..bt life is unfair..wen u're havin fun wid e 1 wh0m u lub, time flies by s0o fast n b4 u knw it..its time 2 let g0..e time i've spent wid him nv seem enuf..bt its sumtin tt i really lub n treasure al0t..n0 matter where 0r wad we're up t0, its s0o much fun..there's jus s0o much j0y..n i dun wish 2 ever l0se sumtin s preci0us s tis..it'll jus brk mi int0 pieces..e pieces tt he n my bel0ved frenz spent s0o much time puttin baq t0gether..he's my pillar 0f strength..al0ng wid my treasured frenz..wid0ut u guys..i wldnt b wh0 i m nw..smilin s0o hapiely..abit r0ugh n crude bt h0nezt..e tins u guys pass n taught mi r alwaez g0na b wid mi 4 life..n0 matter wad happens..its nw bcum an impt part 0f mi..n i'll alwaez treasure tis lil gifts..i'm jus tankful 2 evri1..2 b able 2 knw u guys 0ut there r e greatez..lets alwaez keep tis lub n frenship g0in 0n 4 a much much l0nger time aitez..tc..i lub u guys b4, nw n 4ever..muackz..hehe..s0o freakin mushy sia..i kinda s0und stupid nw..bt its e truth n its e w0rdz tt i've finally been able 2 pull 0ut frm my heart..