feelin unwanted..??

u knw hw wen u're b0th bz n dun really hab time 2 mit each 0ther..well..tts 1 0f the reas0ns y i dun really mind wen i'm nt able 2 mit him..since he's bz jugglin wid w0rk n frenz..bt i dun0 y..bt i kinda feel neglected..i undrstnd tt evri1 nids their space..bt i really feel unwanted 4 sum reas0n..i even feel tt sumtimes i'm a "jus f0r display" d0ll..its weird rite..?? well..i kinda hab my reas0ns 4 feelin tis wae 0f cuz..i'm nt sure if i'm bein unreas0nable by feelin tis wae..its freakin c0nfusin..n i've been p0nderin abt it 4 quite sum time..mi n him..we rarely mit..especially cuz he's bz n hab 0ther pri0rities..i'm nt the kinda thick-headed ger wh0 tinks tt her b0yfie hafta spend all his time wid her..0f tt i'm sure..bt its jus tt..he jus really dun gib a damn abt mi..he rarely msges..n we rarely mit..in n0rmal circumstances, ppl wil sae tt he's tw0-timin 0r he jus gt sick n tired 0f mi alrdy..bt izit p0ssible?? i hab t0tal faith n trust in him..i dun believe tt he wil cheat 0n mi..he rarely msges..bt wen he d0es, he'll msg mi halfwae n den the c0nversati0n gt l0zt..cuz he suddenly didnt reply..he ask mi 2 msg..bt wen i did msg, he nv replied..i tried 2 make plans wid him..bt all e plans tt i came up wid falls thru..cuz its either he's gt w0rk [i dun blame him 4 tt] 0r he 4gt all abt it n made plans wid his frenz instead..i cant sae anitin abt it..cuz he can b rather 4getful..bt it kinda gibs mi the feelin tt i really dun matter much 2 him..n its rather painful 2 tink 0f it tt wae..i mit up wid him atleaz 0nce a wk bt..i didnt mit him tis entire wk..i dun seem 2 get a sae in hw we mit..really..wen he feels lk it, he'll jus suddenly msg 0r call mi up n tel mi 2 mit..i wish i can sae n0..bt its s0o rare 2 b able 2 mit up wid him tt i jus dr0p wadever i'm d0in 0r quickly get 0ut 0f bed jus 2 mit him..tinkin abt it..sumtimes i really feel lk cryin..many times actually..i did cry 0nce..n eventh0ugh i d0 lub him, i find myself wishin tt i m his fren rather den his gerfy..cuz he really care n take his frenz m0re seri0usly den mi..i really hate tis feelin 0f bein unwanted al0t..its as if he placed a wall btwn us..lk i dun bel0ng in his life..0r rather..m0re lk i was nv apart 0f it 2 begin wid..n n0 matter wad i d0..i can nv brk dwn the wall, bel0ng in his life 0r bcum apart 0f it..n tt really sux..its lk i'm a really uselez n pathetic gerfy..wen evri1 keeps tellin mi tt i'm actually a really great 1..i'm s0o damn c0nfused nw..its nt a nice feelin 2 start 0f wid..if i stil hab al0tta tearz..i tink tt i wld hab cried a river til its full..cuz i'm a crybaby..bt i cant..been cryin n wastin t0o much tearz 0n guys..haiz..i dun get it..i really really really dun get it..

n0w..mi n HIM..!

i knw hw ppl misjudged mi al0t..cuz 4 1tin, i cant h0ld 0n 2 a guy 4 l0ng..it sux 4 mi t0o u knw..its nt as if i wana change b0yfie as fazt as i change cl0thes..bt i keep gettin dumped 4 sum reas0n..maybe its jus mi ch0osin n gettin e wr0n guys all e time..bt 4 nw..i'm hapie wid e fact tt i've gtten 2 knw HIM..! i gt 2 knw HIM frm my s0oulmate..apparently..he's my s0ulmates' acquaintance..? 0r izit fren..? they're in e same camp la..i acc0mpanied my s0ulmate 2 his fren's burffy pit..cuz my s0ulmate is e kinda guy wh0's quiet n dun mix ard much..eventh0ugh he's frenly n fairly p0pular..bt he's a nice n shy guy..he was w0ried tt he wldnt b able 2 t0k much s0o i went al0ng wid him n kept him c0mpany n was willin 2 supp0rt him in makin e eff0rt 2 blend in wid e cr0wd..tt was wen i met HIM..he was lk a hyper bunny..in e energizer ad..s0o full 0f energy n exudin tis feelin 0f frenlinez all ard..i'm a frenly n 0utg0in kinda ger..s0o i was all t0o hyped up abt makin new frenz..i was mixin ard n t0kin al0t..enj0yin myself 2 e fullezt..wen he suddenly came n started t0kin 2 my s0ulmate..e tin is..my s0ulmate n i..we didnt make it clear wads 0ur RS wid each 0ther was..we jus wanted 2 c wad ppl t0t we were 2 each 0ther..s0o e gr0up kept assumin al0tta tins abt us..we had al0tta fun laughin lk mad evritime they came up wid a new assumpti0n abt us..it was kinda lk a private j0ke 2 e b0th 0f us..it came 2 a p0int where i cldnt take it anim0re n dcided 2 let them 0ff 0n e assumpti0ns..cuz i cldnt st0p laughin at their assumpti0ns..it was hilari0us..hehe..aft clearin a wee bit 0f e air btwn my s0ulmate n i..HE suddenly gt m0re enthusiastic n started chattin 2 mi al0t m0re..we had fun chattin abt alotta t0pics..nt 0nli e b0th 0f us la..wid e gr0up t0o..by tt time, m0z 0f them were K.0 alrdy..as we were chattin, he suddenly asked mi 4 my n0..! n he even asked permissi0n frm my s0ulmate..! hehehe..aint tt ad0rable..at tt p0int, they assumed tt mi n my s0ulmate were siblings..! haa..! my s0ulmate was actin all pr0tective 0f mi as if i was really his flesh n bl0od sister..i knw i was bein rude la..bt i really tried very, very hard..in e end..i burst 0ut laughin..! cant h0ld it in anim0re..! afew daez since e pit, he msged mi..! n u knw wad..he actually gave mi HIS n0 b4 askin mi 4 my n0..we started 0ut msgin n gettin 2 knw each 0ther beta..n in e end we finally met up al0ne..jus e 2 0f us..we slacked n t0k-ed n0nst0p..by nearly e end 0f e dae, he suddenly c0nfessed his feelins..i was quite stunned..4 1tin, i dun really knw HIM..bt we kinda had tis chemistry n c0nnecti0n g0in 0n..we jus CLICKED..i was dumbf0unded wen he 'fessed up..it t0ok mi quite awhile 2 rec0ver..r0ughly 10minz..durin which he was m0re 0r lesz t0kin 2 himself la..hehe..wen he requested 4 my answer..i said yes..0f cuz..! i kinda lk e wae he 'fessed up 2 mi face-t0-face n he was h0nezt wid his feelins..it requires guts 2 d0 s0o..n i admire him 4 d0in s0o..nw we r..d0in quite fine..th0ugh we rarely mit..we d0 appreciate n treasure e time we spend t0gether..
aft all tis l0ng-winded gibberish..
i stil haven dclare wh0 he is..
he's name is sean..
n i lub him..